Yearning to be a housewife/ The rise of "Marriage Hunting"
or yearning to be a stay-at-home mom, or whatever is the current correct expression. According to a recent survey, majority of female university students in Japan expressed their 'most desirable future' is to be a housewife. That's right, not working, not being independent, they want to discard the whole thing. About 25% said they would want to work for a while, get get married and 'settle down' (thus ending up as a housewife/stay-at-home mum). Only 25% said they would want to keep working and maintain their professional career.
Until like 20 years ago, housewife was not something Japanese women chose to be, but forced to be. If you would start working for a company, you would be wearing ridiculous uniforms and do secretarial work. You'd marry someone from the office (or through other means) and subsequently quit your job to, as a Japanese expression goes, 'enter into the [or his] house'. Sometimes, a boss brokered such marriage for some of his underlings with bright future. (See, it was pretty much a must for a guy to be married and have a child to rise above certain position; you have a wife at home so you can work late without worrying about housekeeping and stuff, and you have a child so you'd be more loyal to the Company) For women to keep working and be independent, for most cases, was just not the option. I'm not saying it was right, but it was just the way it was.
Looking back, this system worked because job security for Japanese men were pretty solid. (in fact, once you got yourself a job in a fairly large company, you never really worried about getting fired. They might send you to some godforsaken place, force you to work 16 hours everyday, but layoff was just not happening.) Back then the focus was on the lack of option for women, but no one really thought the whole thing worked because men could (mostly) earn enough, earn steadily for his family (most importantly, single-handedly).
Of course, the job security thing is pretty much thrown out of the window. Sure, you don't get the good news as easily as you could in the U.S., but compared to the old days before the burst of Bubble Economy, that's one factor everyone would give a serious thought on when thinking about, you know, future and stuff.
Another aspect is many of the working, independent Japanese women in their 30s and 40s are not happy, and not providing positive role-models. Many of them are downright unhappy for having to work long hours, their partner/husband not being very helpful with household chores (or inability to find one because they are too busy), and how hard it is to raise a child partly because of fecked up support system out there (Japanese social welfare for child-raising is designed with working-pops and stay-at-home moms in mind, and hasn't really been updated) and partly because said support from the husband side isn't exactly ideal.
So there's this new trend, "marriage hunting" (the term is coined after the Japanese word for "job hunting"), which is pretty much about women trying to score and secure a single guy with a stable (at least seemingly so) and well-paid position/ profession. However, there are only 3.5% of single Japanese men between age 25-35 who earn more than 6 million yen (about 60,000 USD) per year, whereas more than 60% of single Japanese women expect that much of income from her prospective husband. Go figure. Good luck ladies.
On the other hand, many Japanese men are shying away from the whole business- about 25% of men in their 20s haven't been with a girlfriend for more than a year- and are becoming really shy. They won't call up a girl or ask one out unless they really know the girl would respond positively or would agree. (Even better, many would hope the girl would take the initiative thereby freeing them from, you know, making decisions and taking the lead and stuff)
Politicians and many other "specialists" are trying to figure out how to stop this diminishing number of newborns, but the thing is actually pretty simple; people are not even getting married in the first place, because of the economic insecurity. And even for the married couples, the support system is just not what they expect. (more than 70% of Japan's welfare budget goes to things that support elderly citizens. They tend to go to vote more often, you know.)
So. In today's Japan, the whole thing sort of came full-circle; the feminism movement fought so hard to liberate women from this prison called housewife-ing, but now, it's something that modern women crave for. And statistically speaking, it won't happen for many of them.
Comments
btw, I must have missed something. was there ever a real feminism movement in Japan?
This reminds me of this blog:
http://tokyocherie.wordpress.com/
Geees. I don't get this dream at all. Don't get me wrong, I respect that people whish for it (I mean in the spirit of democracy and such you should be able to whish for whatever you want), but I would never say that this was a dream of mine.
In fact, the whole "having children and a house" thing kind of freaks me out to be honest. I want a husband one day, but as fa as children goes I am not so sure.
Some things come to mind for me when reading your post. First is the ways I've changed over the years in my thinking, my own feminist beliefs (or lack thereof).
When I was a young girl, I thought I'd never get married and never have children. The idea was pretty much revolting to me - especially the children.
As a teenager, I refused to conform to the standard of beauty that dominated not only my high school, but my culture in general (United States in the 90's). I refused to shave my legs or armpits, I never wore makeup or a bra, I walked barefoot most of the time, and dressed in whatever people weren't wearing.
I began to change as I got older, becoming more stereotypically feminine, caring more about how I appeared to the opposite sex, dressing not necessarily in the latest trends, but at least with more style.
I eventually got married (and divorced). Now, I am engaged once again, and I am back in college, this time to develop skills for the ultimate in female stereotypes: Office Management. Not only that, but my fiancee is a butcher: an extreme in male stereotypes.
And these days, if I didn't have to work, I wouldn't. I certainly wouldn't work sixteen hours a day, and I currently only work four. I'd love to just be married, go to the gym, get my hair and nails done, and write blogs all day.
Thanks, Kimura! Great post!